resolve...

Here we are in 2012 already and as I sit typing at my computer I am feeling resolved…resolved to actually get to and write all the myriad things that I have had on my mind of late and yet failed to be motivated to share, resolved to attend to some of the adventures still languishing on my bucket list, resolved to smile when I feel down in the dumps and reflect on all the gold in my life instead of the occasional shadows, resolved to be more understanding, loving and compassionate across all areas of my existence and most of all resolved to live each day living, not just existing!!

These seem little enough resolutions, but they can be huge. Sometimes I get so caught up in the conjugating of my troubles and aches and pains etc. that writing is just too much ho hum and compassion seems what I need not what I can give and frowns just appear before a smile can creep its way across my lips and bucket lists seem as if they will always be there for another day….

But this year, I am not prepared to let the little things swamp the important things, I am looking forward to a focus on all that is helping me to grow as person and all that allows me to be there for others without hanging on, without needing any results but just for the sake of being…..I am realising also the complete and undeniable adulthood of all my lovely children!

They have become in a sense my contemporaries and my friendship and support is needed more than my mothering! It’s a fine line of change but a monumental difference in focus and one I am more than ready to embrace.

And for Hubby and me it’s time to remember each other, staying up late has another meaning now, it’s not so much waiting up for the kids to come home as it is enjoying dinner and a wine together and perhaps a walk in the moonlight along the beach.

So I am resolved, to appreciate the journey and smell a few roses along the way and rejoice in the journey of parenthood from whence I have come and the new and exciting journey of midlife into which I am heading. I will smile and be glad for the sunshine, the wind and the rain, I will embrace adventures, I will endeavour to understand beyond my own experience and to be compassionate in the true sense of the word…..roll on my new beginning, not just 2012 but life…..