amiable or grumpy?

While browsing the internet today…I came upon this quote in relation to marriage, “It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. “ ~Benjamin Disraeli


It made me laugh…..because you know; I believe it’s quite true! And I have decided that it has finally given me the clue to a good marriage of which (due to longevity, continued feelings of romance and a squishy stomach every time I see my hubby, not to mention 4 lovely kids and lots of great family closeness) mine is one.

Neither of us feel the need to be amiable every day…hubby gets grumpy when he’s tired and pulls the blankets off me when he rolls over or is cold, he sighs a lot when I keep talking and talking and talking…..and snorts at me over his surfing magazine when I try to get his attention, I slam doors and make a fuss when the rubbish needs taking out or no-one helps with the dishes, I push hubby hard in the ribs when he snores at night and sometimes ‘just because’ I nit pick and get emotional. We argue, misunderstand and frustrate ...

But nevertheless, we love each other, are happy holding hands as we walk down the street or cuddling on the couch to watch a movie. We might disagree about what movie, who makes the coffee or who forgot to feed the dog…..but we never disagree about the value of being together or all the amazing life experiences we’ve shared and sometimes just managed to weather together !

We’d never dream of finding fault with the art of sharing this tricky journey ….together is so much more satisfying…when I feel sad because something inconsequential has triggered a sad memory, hubby understands and holds me a little closer…when he’s tired from all the work and responsibilities of life, I am there to offer a word of appreciation and a strong coffee…when I am happy because a child has achieved a milestone, he is right beside me smiling back, when he is happy because he just got the narliest wave, I am excited too, not because of the wave but because of the glow on his face.

It’s good we’re not always amiable…if we were then we wouldn’t be being real…and our marriage is very very real!!

After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6º of marriage! ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960