So, I am back from my five days of mind expansion with the Dalai Lama...it would seem that I should write something deep and meaningful...but the teachings were about emptiness...and words just seem to fill this...I am tempted to leave wide open blank spaces...but of course I am not going to do this I am going to write and write some more, because this is the essence of me....
First words need to be thankyou, to my Sisiter for sharing this precious journey with me...to my family for releasing me...to the Dalai Lama for his generousity of wisdom...
and in returning to my Husband for listening and not judging when all the words I had learnt while away did not spill over into actions...
I did love the experience, and I brought away a new appreciation of the philosophical depth and complexity of Bhuddism and in particular of Tibetan Bhuddism.I realised that more than the focus upon enlightenment, the underpinning of this ancient philoosphy is the achieving of objective compassion( or compassion that is spontaneously arising and not dependent upon the actions of the other) through the attainment of objective wisdom,( hence the great emphasis on analytical thought). In fact Skeptical objectivism is highly encouraged and it was said that meditation should include reverent prayer, calm abiding suchness and analytical thought.
Tibetan Bhuddism differs from many other forms of Buddhism in this focus upon an extension outside self...to compassionately help others attain an end to their suffering beyond a mere desire to attain an end to individual suffering through enlightenment.
Enough said... Sydney was as difficult to negotiate as ever...reminding me why I live in a small town...the smell and sound of speeding cars filled with serious faces all trying to be somewhere they were not as fast as they could with no thought for the car or its occupent beside them...trains packed with sweaty bodies and tired eyes suspiciously holding tightly to their bags with tension filled hands...thank goodness for the ferry which I have decided is the best form of transport in Sydney and allows you time to reconnect with the beauty of nature and breathe a little...this water is the saving grace of the Town!
I certainly needed to remember compassion negotiating the city...to smile and give away the fat taxi fare incured when travelling a large circle to go a straight a line, being aware of course that the taxi driver like the rest of us has mouths to feed from the overly expensive supermarket in which you cannot think clearly because of the flouro lights! And again compassion was desirable as I dealt with a fidgety, coughing, chewing, dramatically whispering crowd of excited devotees and curious tourists while assuming morning meditations...and yet again compassion was neccessary when phoning home and getting the silent treatment from 'I'm busy' who felt I had deserted her...
But still, having been in the presence of a trully great man, I return to a sense of emptiness( I dont beleive the 'emptiness' of 'suchness' that we are aiming for in meditaion just the emptiness of somethingness..the somethingness of still being very human!)...empty because every philosohpical dissertation seems always to alight back where it began...because in my physical travels I always alight back where I began( back home amidst a bevvy of requests for homework help, massages and can you finds, back home amidst my growing feeling of being stretched, distracted and inadequate)...because emptiness intimates a sense a fullness which in turn intimates a sense of emptiness which in turn and so on...so I posit the question, is emptiness attainable? If it were, would we like it? Or is it beyond like and dislike...and what would that be like??? ok. so you see I am still in the life throws of Samsara...not being able to imagine a 'suchness' that dissallows the small pain at the base of my back while meditating, or the embarrassing tummy rumble of physical hunger...thank goodness for analytical thought...I can console myself that I am still on the path via my objective skepticism and my ability to dissect...one day perhaps with such an overlaoding fullness of mind that the resulting overflow will neccessitate a moment of emptiness...until it all begins again of course!!
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