Dalai Lama

Yipee….I am off to spend a week in Sydney with the Dalai Lama…His Holiness the Dalai Lama to be exact. This is a gift, and I am grateful for it! Wherever my philosophical meanderings may take me (which generally is right back to where I started…confused…) I still have immense respect and reverence for those rare individuals that have peppered our earthly History with their wisdom, insight and compassion. The week within his presence is all about teachings regarding meditation….a skill I continue to work upon and exercise. With reference to Kamalashila’s text the Dalai Lama is to demonstrate the nature of awareness as developed through meditation……and I shall endeavour to understand!! Or osmotically absorb or just find a still peace within and sit…and not worry about the puppy and his feeds, whether ‘I’m busy’ has any homework she needs help with or ‘Stop Hassling’ is feeling ok? Or hubby has woken up in time for work, or ‘Miss nearly independent’ is driving safely or ‘Miss Independent’ is having a good birthday, I will be leaving her on her birthday…I will be leaving her on this special day…guilt is trying to creep in here….and in the end it is all about attachment…to the control of this little family’s life and to making everyone happy and fixing every problem and to being Mum…and maybe just a bit of this time with His Holiness should be devoted to me learning to let go…to just be….to breathe…to meditate…to trust in my family’s ability to do just fine without me …

So in the mean time I am writing lists…lots of them…..they say things like, feed the puppy dry food in the morning and meat at night…put the rubbish bin out on Sunday evening…water plants…extra grocery money is in the blue jar…don’t forget to charge the mobile…etc etc…I have ( saving grace), fallen short of adding, turn off the light before you fall asleep, remember to brush your teeth twice a day…and eat your veggies…but that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it!!

Ah yes attachment….Buddhists I believe define this as an exaggerated sense of not wanting to be separated from someone or something. (The exact opposite of Aversion) They say that the Main quality of Attachment is an exaggeration of positive qualities, which can only lead to disappointment. LOVE can be like this but it shouldn’t….love should plainly be about wishing others to be happy. Attachment love is conditional…and real love which is unconditional, has no self-interest, but is based on self-acceptance. Oh my gosh….how compromised do I feel now…ok…so I believe I Love unconditionally….but when I get to exaggerating those positive things…, like I must solve all the problems…like I must be the first one up to get brekky, do the wake up calls or make coffee…like I feel it my moral responsibility to lecture on the evils of not eating well or sleeping on the couch as opposed to in the bed
….then I am getting kinda conditional…not in an obvious, you must go to college or be heterosexual or go to this or that church or whatever or do exactly what I say, way, but still conditional…it’s a subtle thing but it does get in the way of just enjoying the love…and it kinda lets my family down/sells them short…because of course they can manage fine without me, they are all intelligent, talented, sensible human beings and loving them is a joy not a chore…even though I sometimes make it one!

And already the Dalai Lama is teaching me something…let go, listen, love.

So family of mine if you are reading this…I love you and hope you have a great week doing your own thing…I shall be learning to let go a little and be more aware of my own space…which happily conjoins yours but should never overwhelm it…