This has been a big month or so….Mike and I had our twentieth wedding anniversary and reviewed and renewed!! It was a special time to give thanks for what we have and to pat ourselves on the back for what we have survived together and even more it was an opportunity to remember the great moments along the way! Importantly I think it was a huge joy to realize that we are as much if not more in love than ever and that we look forward to the continuing journey as it unfolds for us together…we are actually excited about our mutual older age …and it feels good.
Alas and also my sister Sue passed away…perhaps a small blessing for her, easing her suffering…and a huge learning time for those of us left behind. At least this is how it has been for me. I have spent so much time these past few weeks going over in my mind our life together and apart…our growing up, how I used to look up to her and want to be like her…she was so beautiful and clever and talented…yet I believe I never actually said that to her…how sad it was that we grew apart and that communication was poor between us…how easy is it let things slide into a mountain too huge to climb…perhaps I should have found a way to let her know that I missed us, sisters being sisters….
All that is left now is to reconcile this past and allow Sue to have her peace…yet I am still sad for the time we let slip away and I am at a loss to reconcile the fear and pain that seemed to cut a wedge between us for so many years. I just want to keep remembering her smile, to give thanks for all the native animals she nursed back to health and to be proud of her many accomplishments…
Humans are deep and complex beings, at base though we are just needing of love and I send Sue much love always…I always have.
On a brighter lighter note my eldest received the Deans award for Academic Excellence at Monash University and landed a great job…my youngest survived her trials with more than flying colours and seems well prepared for her HSC exams, my other daughter continues to be an amazingly talented and persevering young woman setting herself up wonderfully for future travel adventures( she is a saver extraordinaire) and my son has taken to his new leadership role as soux chef with great gusto and success…But best and most of all I am blessed with family and I have much love in my life…for all of this I give thanks….and more than any accolades or successes in the real world of ‘out there’ in here in my heart live all the gentle, endearing, caring and humanitarian qualities that my darling children have shown me are theirs over the years and for these I am so very ,very happy!!
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