It can be hard at nearly fifty to define what the real responsibilities of ones life are as opposed to the responsibilities we have become habituated into wearing!!
I was going to begin this ramble by defining responsibility and logically I went into wikipeadia for help…but I came out more confused than ever…apparently responsibility takes many forms…for example, corporate responsibility, media responsibility, collective responsibility, moral responsibility, professional responsibility, social responsibility and so on and so on…..of course from a philosophical point of view I am aware of the differentiations but all I really wanted was a blanket definition. I just want to be able to say, ‘this is mine I’ll wear it’ or ‘no this doesn’t belong to me!” And then I can behave accordingly……and I’d like some arbitrary objective way/place/person to help me to find out which is which! Too much to ask??? I guess the point is, ( as always) its up to me to figure it out…in other words its my RESPONSIBILITY to sort this out and know what is mine and what isn’t!
I have always adhered to the concept of ‘Responsibility Assumption.’ It posits that one is entirely responsible for the events of ones life and as such cannot blame or alternatively praise any outside cause or effect for this. Theravada Buddhism, Jainism, and nontheistic Hinduism regard the journey on the path to illumination as entirely the responsibility of the individual. Each person is "a lamp unto himself"; each works out his own salvation alone and by himself. It’s a reasonable position I believe, because it makes you own your decisions and actions…but lets face it other’s reactions and independent actions can have as much affect upon us as our own! In this sense the ‘Responsibility Assumption’ needs a little tweaking! I believe it as this: we make our destiny and our present space and are in control of this or responsible for this in as much as we are in control of or responsible for our perceptions, our reactions, and our way of being with and in the present moment! For each moment, what we do with it and where we go with it, we are responsible….but we do not necessarily hold responsibility for all that is thrown into our moments, some certainly, but not all!
“ Self, indeed, is the protector of self. Self, indeed, is one's refuge.Control, therefore, your own self as a merchant controls a noble steed.” Dhammapada 379-80
This type of concept appears in nearly all motivational programs and awarenss or positive thinking programs. It functions as a tool to point out that each individual does affect the perceived world by the decisions they make each day and by the choices they have made in the past. I like that because it is levelling…but it needs to be careful of guilting, which is a very easy result…responsibility needs to be taken with a smile and a measure of humour. It is a brave thing to accept what is and where it came from as ours… and a pat on the back for that bravery is more desirable than a lashing of guilt because where we are is not exactly as high as our expectations need it to be!
Anyway…all this said and done…I still have the issue of what exactly am I responsible for…sure my perception, how I take things…but what else…my kids??? My Hubby?? The ecology??Global warming??The Bills?? Walking the dog?? How much chocolate I consume??? The greenhouse effect?? Its all so….confusing…….The media puts a heavy burden on my death, which I am apparently responsible for and should pay for now???? Religion talks of responsibility for world peace and yet continues to encourage individuals to be responsible and fight for it!
The World Health Organization has as one of its main functions the responsibility of bringing up children capable of living in ways which we adults have not yet been able to achieve. They must be capable of facing realities honestly, even though they are frightening, and they must learn how to live in disagreement with others without resorting to violence. Sixty-four nations have signed the charter of the World Health Organization. So as a parent I feel greatly responsible to facilitate this….especially when being responsible and fighting with my children to get them to stop fighting and live in amicable disagreement with each other…..The environment’s maladies stare at me and look askance when I forget my green bags and use plastic to shop, but if I drive back to get my green bags then I am polluting our precious air more than is neccessary…..my children complain when the world does not offer as much as I apparently led them to believe it would ( but if I am negative then what am I doing to them?)……..the ozone hole grows with each spray of fly killer and flies die looking at me with accusation…as do my visitors when flies alight on their food……if I stumble and fall in the darkness, breaking a precious ornament or two then the family balk at my irresponsibility but turning on the light is a waste of precious power…..I am responsible for my own nurturing…but if I spend too much time nurturing me then the dishes may not be done and the shower may grow mould and we may all get sick…..if I recycle am I being responsible for our earth’s future or is the recycling process more pollutant than the product I am recycling?…..at every turn I am in a quandery!
So here I am…..older and world wiser or wearier (depending on the time of day)…and feeling a responsibility to understand my responsibilities and carry them out as best I may……..but as confused or more confused than ever……I did look in a paper dictionary ( they still exist!) and found some references to burdens which I reject….and then a reference to personal initiative, which is reasonable but not enough some how! I guess life is a dichotomy and the more I learn about it and experience it and thrash about in it the more I realise its probably ok to just do the best you can, whatever you think that is! Being responsible for something, I have found it meet to remember, does not lay you a claim to being right…it just lets you know that it is yours…….
But still I ask....is it really All mine........???????????
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