The Spin on Glad

One of the few qualities I actually like about my personality is my ability to see the positive side of things……but this week someone put a different view on this for me. They said (after yet another one of my positive forays...) “You really are a spin Doctor……you know, like the ones politicians keep about them, who can turn anything around and make it look good…..even indiscretions.” For a while after I felt quite hurt…..it made something I felt was spiritual and uplifting into something plastic and twisted……

The truth is when I was little I read a book called ‘PollyAnna’…and it changed me for life! In this book a little girl who has been through much change and sadness in her life deals with this by playing a game called the ‘Glad’ game….in which she finds as many things as she can to be glad about in every situation. I started to emulate this and lo and behold, down the track some 40 odd years, it has become a habit, but one I like and one that can make a difference to my experience of my world.

Perhaps it is too hard for others to run with this approach and perhaps it just irritates…….and perhaps I need to be more sensitive in my ‘Glad’ approach. Certainly there is something for me to learn in this, and I do not want to turn things into something they are not….only find the useful and positive in them…all experience is positive if we make it so, I honestly see this, because it gives us a unique opportunity to learn more about ourselves and to grow in intrinsic ways. We are after all the sum total of our experience and how we deal with each moment of the journey will always be more important than the destination! I like to feel good, so I try to be “glad”…..now I am also trying to be more aware of my impact on others with this and to allow a little suffering if that is what they need…..to remember we are all different…..and to be at peace with their experience of their journey, even if sometimes they need to take the rocky road instead of the smooth one! Now I am ‘Glad’ I was miffed by the comment, because it has taught me something, another aspect of tolerance, and how sometimes I am a little selfish about feeling ‘Glad’. After all I am not here to solve the worlds problems…..only my own!

It is true I have taken on the importance of making everyone happy……I have lived in the delusion that I am responsible for solving all problems, keeping all and sundry smiling and it is true that this often backfires, because lets face it, no-one human is that omnipotent! Delusions of grandeur obviously!! Now I am applying a little humility and realizing my attendance to my moments is perhaps enough to bring some joy to others and certainly enough to be an example to others…..making a good example is the most I can ask for and enough of a major work in itself to keep me busy for some time.

It has been suggested by eminent American psychologist Martin Seligman that there are several factors that contribute towards our happiness. This is his suggested ‘equation for happiness’.

H = S + C + V
H = Happiness
S = Set range - (genetics: about 50%)
C = Circumstances (8-15%)
V = Voluntary Control - (past, present, future)
This all looks very scientific, and is actually based on research findings, but can be explained quite simply:

Set Range/Genetics - There is some evidence to support that we are all born with a certain "set-point" of happiness, determined by our genes. This is supposed to change only slightly, if at all, as we get older. This contributes towards around 50% of our level of happiness.
So, if something dramatic happens, for example, you win the lottery, or break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, within a year or so (depending on the situation) your happiness level will return to its set point.

Circumstances - There is also some evidence to suggest that the circumstance we live in influence our level of happiness. You don't always have a lot of control over your circumstances. Evidence suggests, however, that this accounts for only around 8-15% of our happiness levels, which really isn't that much.

Voluntary Control - This third factor is the most important factor in the equation, because you can control it, and in the process control your happiness. It includes all aspects of your life over which you have a relatively high degree of control, including your thoughts and actions. This includes the way you choose to think about and act on the past, present, and future, and seems to have quite a significant impact on how happy we are – this is up to 42% of the equation!
This final factor gives good evidence of the value of the ‘Glad’ game but it is something as individuals we have to discover and become proficient at…..no-one else (not even me…..) can do this for someone else…….

In a sense we are all spin Doctors of one sort or another, turning every event, every moment into something of our choosing……focusing on the hurt, the delusion, the lesson, the positive, the negative…..the whatever……….the salient thing is that we all have a choice about how we focus and on what feature or point we focus on most of all…….we own our moments and even if we own little else and our moments are experienced in dire circumstance….it is this truth, the fact that no-one else can experience what we experience exactly as we do, that makes us free…….even in prison, we are free to own our moments and our experiences of them……this is the only absolute freedom we have and perhaps in this can we find our own absolute truth???