Mercurial moments

Oh my goodness, Mercury is retrograde again!!!! This means that I do silly things and people around me misunderstand each other…( in other words the kids take personal insult easily and hubby is more confused than ever!) In astrological terms Mercury retrograde means that the planet mercury appears to be moving in backward motion instead of in forward motion, although actually this is not how it truly is… it is really just sitting put on the spot…but optical illusion would have it that we see a backward motion…fitting really because the astrological result of this is confusion!!!??? In our day to day activity misunderstanding, technical breakdown and poor judgment reign supreme (more than usual that is)…

In our home this phenomenon seems to hold true. Take this morning for instance…my youngest daughter fell over getting ready for school and the thump was enough to wake the rest of the lazies up( with the exception of hubby who could literally sleep through a plane crashing into the living room)...however, the dog got such a scare he retired to his bed to hide, “I’m Busy’ ( youngest daughter) spent some moments in histrionics hoping compassionate mum would let her off school and when this did not work realized she was late and had to run for the bus hastily stuffing toast into her mouth which she periodically also missed!
Miss nearly independent (who is down for a few days to work and ease her poor uni student status) having been woken by afore mentioned thump decided coffee was a good idea, it was and still is but she was distracted soon after making it and when she went back to find her cup she was at a loss…it turned up still warm and in the cups cupboard…not too bad, next move was too make a toasted sandwich for brekky…she put it in the fridge…not a lot of toasting gets done in there….ok so things were getting worse… but the climax of this little episode came when she was drying her wet hair after a shower. Sitting on the floor in front of the mirror as she is want to do, she somehow managed to lift her knee just as she flicked her head forward and the result was ‘OUCH’…a bump to the head…now, how do you tell folk that you acquired said bump by hitting your head with your own knee??
I went into the bedroom some minutes later, to wake up hubby for work…in my usual manner I was carrying the morning lifeblood (coffee of course and again!!) in a steaming mug for hubby to ingest and magically jump out of bed as a result of…but Mercury was laughing at me and as I loudly declared, ‘time to wake up’ hubby jumped a few feet off the mattress looking at me with startled, wild eyes ( obviously I had become for a select few moments the embodiment of some alien monster that peppers his dream world) and knocked that steaming cup right out of my endearing hands… I was startled, and a little annoyed at the mess I was soon to have to clean up…but it all came to a head when he blinked twice, looked at me, semi realized what was happening and said, ‘ its ok, I am getting up, what’s all the fuss about, calm down won’t you?”
Sometime after, as hubby was eating toast and vegemite and drinking a nice new coffee while perched on the side of the bed, and I was letting bygones be bygones and we were having a pleasant chat…I heard a small but definitely not ok noise… ‘What is that???’ I said as I rose and took a look around…following the small tick tick noises to a space under the bed…where I found puppy chewing happily on my glasses ( O my…this revered article is source to my day…the world and my work…without them I stumble around even more ineffectually than usual, not being able to see the labels on cans, the questions on someone else’s homework, the amounts in a recipe, who is ringing me, who is at the door and who the heck is waving at me from down the road…..) anyway I called to hubby, “ it’s the dog, get him he has my GLASSES”…and hubby obliged by leaning over and spilling his coffee again, only this time on the carpet….and I leaned under the bed and under and under until I finally got the glasses from puppy's grasp…but now of course came the need to slide back out from under the bed….which in the end saw me collapsed in a heap of laughter that masked my actual inability to get my spine working and stand up!!! Oh well eventually……and guess what, puppy was so disturbed by my hysterical laughter that he pooped outside the bathroom…( was he really trying to go to the human toilet???)…

During Mercury retrograde I have been known to wear my trousers inside out all day, before noticing as I have taken them off ready for bed…send texts to the wrong number, completely miss appointments, climb down an extinct volcano on my bum (I have a fear of heights) and unbeknownst to me rip a hole in my pants…and then go for a long walk on a jetty wondering earnestly why everyone was looking at, A. my derriere and B. oddly at me??, and once way back when in the old days of letter writing send my grocery list off in the mail as I happily went shopping with a run down of my month finished with a few hugs and kisses.

So it is with great trepidation that I go forth into today….