Flabby, fed-up, forty something, female…….
Not such an elegant title, not really a good visual, but what the heck, when I write it’s often as a form of catharsis for all the above…and they do have their problems! I’m not sure about this blogging thing but I figure there is something of the narcissist in me and writing a journal that ‘others’ (unknown others at that) can see as well, gives me an unusual buzz.
Of course this may well remain between me and the typeface but you never know?
Let me introduce myself….the flabby refers to the body type I am trying to better. The fed-up refers to all the little disillusions that befall a person my age by the time they get to my age and menopause and the flabby and teenagers etc etc………..forty something is self explanatory and still contains a little secret. I fully intend to keep it that way! Female is a lot about me because it predetermines the many moods and emotional uncertainties I have always experienced! First because of PMT second because of being pregnant, third because of post natal depression and fourth because of menopause…..and last but not least, fifth because I am married to a man!!
I have four children, 2 of whom are going through their delightful teenage years and think of me as a slightly amusing idiot who yells a lot. These will ( just in case they are reading this ) be hereafter affectionately known as ‘ stop hassling me’ and ‘I’m busy’…the former being my sixteen year old son and the latter my 14 year old daughter. My other two are 24 and 22 and doing pretty much their own thing. We can call them ‘independent’ and ‘nearly independent’ respectively.
I like to sing and have a thing for changing the furniture around in my home. I am lousy at housework but like to cook. I have a slightly nutty family and in-laws that disapprove of me. Oh and I have a problem with upsetting people or ever saying no and sticking to it! I am, I guess, a pretty ordinary folk. A little bemused by life and floundering around as best I can. I have an ‘ancient’ degree in philosophy which I suppose explains my musings and confusion. I love poetry and write some, but it tends to be dark and foreboding! I am in debt. The kids have a new puppy…but I have an intimate relationship with its faeces. We live by the beach and I like to go down there early and chant in Sanskrit….it makes me feel lighter and more at peace…honestly! Chocolate is my best friend but just at the moment we are not speaking…I was shocked at the number on the scales and decided chocolate wasn’t helping. I need good coffee at least once a day so often meet a girlfriend and have a good old natter over one ( coffee that is). It’s amazing how much time gets wasted this way.
In a nut shell that is me…..but there are some more pieces to the puzzle which I guess I will share as time and experience predetermine. I am constantly finding things out about myself and redefining the thing that is me!
I would dearly love to use this blog to explore me…but also to explore confusing issues like is it ok to eat meat or carrots and does being a vegetarian mean that you value a cow more than a carrot and is that ok or hypocritical? Or……should I push my son to complete his apprenticeship before exploring other avenues he might like more or should I just let him do what he thinks?...or where has my daughters floor gone… how important is it to vacuum under the fridge……or is nihilism a valid philosophy, aren’t we all nihilists in some way anyway?
I will I think let it all unfold as it will.
So, on that note I will leave this historic first blog until next time. bye bye
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